According to Thomas Merton, “The beginning of Love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves and not twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise, we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.”
Michelle Emoghware, the Founder of Insight to Wellness, a Counselling organisation and a certified Family Life and CBT Practitioner will be taking us through what Couples need to know before saying “Yes I Do.”
The majority of the time, young people assume that relationships will eventually end in marriage, but there are a few crucial steps that couples must take before exchanging vows.
Here are a few things the coach mentioned that couples should know before taking their vows.
As a couple, you need to be ready for what marriage is, and the first thing is to understand that marriage is work.
She said “people go into a relationship just because they feel a certain way that’s enough to make a relationship work, but there is a whole lot that it takes for a marriage to be successful, and its important to have that conversation before you get into the marriage.
There is this idea that we’ll make it up as we go and that’s just a recipe for failure.”
Looking for a good lasting relationship seems to come with a long list of items to check off.
When you are in a relationship with someone, you want to understand first of all what is the purpose of this relationship.
The first thing to check off the list is “understanding who you are and what your needs are.”
She further explained saying, you need to know your values as this is important because a lot of people lead with their emotions and that wouldn’t get you far.
What are your values? What are the things that are important to you in a relationship? How has your upbringing impacted you?
We usually don’t pay attention to that, we believe that because it happened in the past, it’s in the past. But constantly impacted by our upbringing the experiences that we’ve had and even the environment that we grew up in.
You have to understand how this impacts you as a person, how it makes you show up in the world and what your needs are, and then you have to understand how it also impacts the other person.
The way you grow up forms your beliefs and the way you see the world, and it also forms the other person’s beliefs.
See the video below for more!