Marriage and relationship counsellor, Ola Soetan discussed the dos and don’ts of treating in-laws in your marriage.
In-laws are the persons someone becomes related to because of marriage; especially the father, mother or siblings of the husband or wife one is married to.
While one could point to many reasons why in-law relationships are so notoriously difficult to manage, it really boils down to two primary issues: boundaries and expectations.
WATCH: Ways To Deal With In-Laws In Marriage
According to counsellor Ola Soetan, “We have people everywhere and so when you have them in a pack they will have certain similarities about things.
“Family should endeavour to be welcoming when they have someone joining their family. They should try as much as possible to think about it and be conscious and prepared for it.
” While you are raising your kids it is better you raise them with that consciousness because you know that you will be welcoming more people because the family is going to grow and expand.
“This will help curb most of these constant issues with in-laws because these guys are almost like prepared and ready for you.
“Marriage is the union of not just the individual but of family. Families coming together. It’s like joining a new organisation. You need to make conscious effort to be recognized.
“They’re people with issues but the thing is that, when you focus on their negativity, if you take that as an excuse, it’s not about them but the quality of your own person.
“Sometimes when you get to understand the journey/history of that family you might get to know why they are how they are.” he added.
Talking about what you need to do if your in-laws are bent of making your marriage/life miserable Ola said,
“It is not for you to be a people pleaser. The whole idea is that you as a person, it’s more personal to you.
“How you deal with people and manage situations and conflict is very important. You need to be a better person.
“The purpose of marriage is to make you a better person and that should also extend to the family. He added
See the video below for more!
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