Domination by a partner in a relationship or marriage could be demeaning and turn the other partner to a wild being. It happens that a lot of relationships suffer from this issues. Stephen Omojuyigbe, a relationship coach was on #WakeUpNigeria to discuss how to deal with a controlling partner.
According to Mr Stephen, relationship and marriage is a give and take but when one person starts to dominate another, it becomes an issue.
Explaining what it means to dominate, he said:
“When you influence the activities and you don’t allow the other party to speak his or her mind, it’s domination. It could even be during sex, when one person controls during sex, it is domination.Yes wives should be submissive, but when you teach submission to the point where she has no autonomous contribution, you are going beyond submission and becoming inhumane.If you succeed, you won’t have a happy woman anymore but a human being in your house who could get depressed, hurt you, your children and you might have to leave the marriage.”
Also, he noted that the primary factor that leads to domination is fear.
“The interesting factor that leads to domination is fear. The person is scared of being dominated and takes up the defensive mechanism. Also, some women or men open up the space for domination when they are passive. The other party fills up the void and becomes domineering.”
To help this, he advised that the dominated should stand up for his/herself.
“It does not end until you stand up for yourself. But to stand up, do it in love, talk about it and so on. If it does not change, step it up, see a counselor and discuss the issue. Some people don’t even know that they are dominated. Yes women want strong men but if she wants a dominating man, then she is sick. She is trying to find value in a domineering man which might have been influenced by how she grew up. This person needs counselling and needs to be re-informed.”
