Staying married is not something that can be done on impulse, it has to be intentional and deliberate. This is a factor most married people miss and get tired of staying married.
On WakeUpNigeria this morning, Bridget Elesin shed more light on why deliberate actions are necessary in marriage. She said:
“Marriage is companionship and is deliberate. When you get married, children come, you have to work and do other things, you then find out that your intimacy with your spouse is gone. This is why you have to be deliberate and conscious about your marriage. Intimacy is not just about sex, it involves you spending time together, speaking your spouse’s love language and understanding his/her needs. You have to consciously engage in intimacy with your spouse. The upbringing of people are different so somethings that your spouse might be craving for might not be something you were taught to do, this is why you have to deliberately and consciously do these things.”
She then gave some tips on how to go about saving a home where a partner has relaxed and is tuned off.
“First thing to consider is think about why you got married and how you both started. You need to check if these things are still intact and if you still feel/see the reasons why you got married. Also, you need counselling because you cannot do it alone. Most importantly, you have to be ready in your mind. I tell people that what you think is what you become, so you have to decide in your heart that you want to make your marriage work. You can also try the 5 by 5 game, talk about what you like and what you don’t like about your spouse. This kills every form of assumptions and clears the air if done with wisdom.”
