Meet marriage and relationship counselor, Ola Soetan, who discussed the dos and don’ts of communicating your bias in relationships.
Bias is disproportionate weight in favor of or against an idea or thing, usually in a way that is closed-minded, prejudicial, or unfair.
Biases can be innate or learned. People may develop biases for or against an individual, a group, or a belief. In science and engineering, a bias is a systematic error
According to Ola Soetan, bias is like a personal opinion that may not be based on fact but it’s just your personal opinion which may be judgemental.
“It’s okay to have your personal opinion if you’re mentally stable but when it comes to relating to people and you bring your bias on board, it’s bad. Because when you’re relating to people it’s no longer just personal anymore.
You have to be tolerant of others and that is what will subject your bias to a test.
As a professional, we may need to investigate your bias and discover probably there’s more to it, something or an experience you’re holding on to, wrong information you be given, etc.
How do we differentiate between Bias and Beliefs in a relationship
It is so funny that your beliefs can also be your bias. As human beings, if you have a particular bias of belief, you have a community. A support group that believes in the same thing as you. It is personal, when you relate with people it will be a test.
If you’re within your own community and you’re practicing your belief, and talking about your bias, you will feel safe and good, you will feel heard.
Your need for identification and interaction can be met but if you step outside your community, it might be a little bit of a problem.
How to reduce bias in relationships
- Accept that we all have unconscious biases
- Make considered decisions
- Have an open mind for change
- Increase contact with people who are different from you
- Notice positive examples
- Be specific in your intent
- Change the way you do things
- Heighten your awareness
- Take care of yourself.
See the video below for more!
