Husbands feel alone with their secrets and desires; they are at a loss about how to communicate this to their wives. For many men, their attempts to bridge the gap have been met with disinterest or even disdain.
There is need for women to understand their husband when their they are going through a lot.
A life coach, Lanre Olusola spoke at length about this with the ladies of yourview this morning.
He initially traced the reason why men find it difficult to express themselves to parental upbringing. He explained that parents should understand that everyone has the right to express himself/herself emotionally. He said;
“It starts from the parenting of a child, either a girl or a boy. When a girl cries, the parent will embrace her and let her express herself. Then she become more emotionally balanced and expressive. As for a boy, he can neither cry nor express himself because he wouldn’t be attended to.
AdvertisementHe is being trained to be brave so he becomes more introverted. Parents should know that every human being have emotions, deserve to express their feelings and get comfort in return.”
He then went on explaining that men need to be re-defined by the society.
“We need to re-define what/who a ‘Man’ is. The society sees the ‘Man’ as the spiritual head, ATM machine, security guard, breadwinner and more.
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Imagine! These are all the things a man carries and when things are not working well, he won’t be able to express himself because he had been trained that way.
AdvertisementMore men have committed suicide in the last 2 years due to pressure of society and how they cannot face shame. So society and women should re-define men, men should also identify themselves.”
Speaking further, lanre urged women to take on some of the responsibilities;
“Women should take responsibility of certain things in the family. A Woman is trained to believe that her money is her money and the man’s money is our money.There is nothing wrong in transferring money to your husband as a woman, he’ll find it useful when he’s in need. Even when things are hard, it will be easy for him to accept if you want to step in.”
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Highlighting some fundamental key to a successful marriage, He said;
- Be best of friends
- Understand, accept and know each other. When you know each other very well, you will know when something is wrong and how to approach it.
- You must have empathy for each other.
- You must be mature in dealing with each other.
https://twitter.com/lanreolusola/status/926015948032741376
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